DOWRY

When a couple is being married, as a practice, the bride’s party is supposed to give possessions or money to the groom’s party. This is known as the dowry. It can be land, cattle, etc.

The dowry depends on different factors in many countries. Especially in countries like India, it depends on the amount the bride’s family can afford to give and the groom’s status. The more educated the groom is, the higher the value of the dowry. This can bring many disadvantages to a bride if her family can’t afford to give away a large quantity if the groom’s family demands for a larger quantity.

Ever heard of a practice a in marriage where the groom is supposed to give away the dowry? “No”. Again its women who have to go through injustice. 

ACID ATTACKES

“MY FACED WAS ON FIRE”

• v  At 16, Nurunnahar was a beautiful young woman with a bright future. But “In 1995, a young boy of my village told me he was in love with me. He got angry when I refused him. One night, the boy, alone with 10 of his friends, stormed into our house and threw acid at my face. It was so painful. I felt as if my face was on fire. I underwent treatment for 7 months. It shattered my dreams”

           But she didn't give up.” I resolved to start a new life no matter if I’m beautiful or not”. Now a student at Dhaka Commerce College, she thinks of starting a career but painfully, very rarely of marriage.

“Six of the accuses out of 11, were acquitted by the court. Two were sentenced to death, but they are planning to appeal the high court. I don’t know what will ultimately happen, but the acquitted persons are now treating to kill me”

 v  Beena, another victim was attacked when she tried to save her youngest sisters from the hands of miscreants. She has recovered after 7 operations in 8 months, but the acid disfigured her face, neck and a part of her chest. She now works with Naripckho, a women’s rights organization, helping acid attack victims share their pain, comfort one another and come to terms with their new reality.

According to the Bangladesh women’s Legal Committee, the police recorded 174 similar incidents recently in the country. 10 of the victims were girls under age 10 and 79 were between 11 and 20.

REASONS FOR ACID ATTACKS

1.      Either a failed offer of love or marriage.
2.     Over dowry
3.     Either land disputes or past familial enmity
4.     Over conjugal feuds
5.    Other disputes

The question still remains….. Why don’t we ever get to hear that a man has faced an acid attack? Is this really fair? Why is it mostly women that have to face for injustice? 

GUILTY YET INNOCENT

Illegal abortions due to sexual coercion and assault present many serious gynecological problems. Despite restrictive laws, pregnant teens who are desperate often risk the dangers of unsafe illegal abortions. There is evidence that many young women are dying because they are unable to receive proper treatment in time to save them from complications of an aborted pregnancy. Then they are abandoned and discriminated and though as cheap from the society because the society has a different kind of mentality and they don’t know what the true is.

There are instances where a woman is supposed to raise her child/children alone because her husband has left her. How could someone possibly leave a woman to be helpless this way? Then again, most of the time the society spread rumors about the woman. Why does women have to be blamed most of the time? And for something that they are not guilty of?

Earlier marriage has also been linked to wife abandonment and increased levels of divorce or separation. And child brides also face the risk of being widowed by their husbands who are often considerably older. In these instances the wife is likely to suffer additional discrimination as in many cultures divorced, abandoned or widowed women suffer a loss of status, and may be ostracized by society and denied property rights. 

EDUCATION

There was a time where the society was man - dominated. Those days, only men were allowed to attend schools and get good educations. Women were to stay at home and attend to household work. After marriage, they were to look after children and be devoted to their husbands while they went to work to earn; to look after the family. So in any case if a woman needs money, she had to ask her husband. (This is beautifully depicted in the drama A Doll’s House written by Henrik Ibsen. A woman wanted money to save her husband’s life but women were not allowed to borrow money then. So she had to forge her father’s signature)

Women were not independent then. Suppose the husband loses his life (or the job) to some unfortunate incident.  What could have happened to his wife? She must have definitely run out of money to bring up the children.

Wouldn’t it have been better if women too were allowed to go to school and educate themselves? Would they be in this situation? The answer is obviously “NO”.

Women not begin educated is one of the main reasons for child marriages which we even see today, mostly in Asian countries.

There was a myth in the society saying that business transactions are done only among men. But with time women were able to stand up against it and show the world that it is NOT true. Today there are a number of women who are engaged in business matter. And they are successful too. It’s just that when compared to men women had to go through many hardships to be successful and to come to the position they are in today.

Women were not given priority. They were dominated by men. Out of the many successful women around the world today, some of them are Oprah Winfrey and Nayomi Campbell.

In Sri Lanka we have Shanha Mayadunne, Otara Dell, Mallika Hemachandra, Soma Edirisinghe and many more…